On History and on Health

Posted on 2023, Fri Oct 6th, @ 11:44am by Commander Kate Townsend & Lieutenant Rose Andrake

1,806 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: Getting Ready (Character Development)
Location: USS Halo - Counselor's office
Timeline: 3 days after arrival to Sol

Rose sat in the waiting room, a toothpick between her teeth as she absently chewed and let her eyes close, fingers interlaced behind her head as she rested against the wall, humming some song from some video game from centuries past.

On her lap was a PaDD with the last several years of her psychological evaluations and counseling sessions, and she had allowed herself the use of some pomegranate scented soap. The one good thing about being in the sol system, she figured, was real, nonreplicated coffee. The replicators always left some strange, unidentifiable after taste for her, something she couldn't identify. But when she had tasted real, locally grown food for the first time on Mars, she had fallen in love, and had petitioned every ship afterwards for a hydroponics bay so she could grow and cook her own meals. So far, all had been denied. Not that she was worried about it. She had bigger worries.

Such as convincing a counselor she was fit for duty. Despite her history. "I miss my dear darling on new Atlantis..."

Kate walked out and said, "Lt. Andrake,"

"Here." Rose looked up to the counselor, considering her for a moment. A pretty face. Sharp mind. This could be entertaining. So she stood, gesturing for Kate to lead the way before offering the tablet. "My counseling history. Do with it what you will."

"Right this way, " Kate took the PADD and read it as she entered her office.

Rose nodded, following before she stood next to the chair. She waited respectfully for the counselor to sit down before she did. "So. The Admiral told me to come talk to you. Get some stuff off my chest. What would you like to hear about, first?"

Kate sat "Please Sit, And I want all of it, From the start," Kate took out a PADD and pulled up a note page to jot down notes.

"From the start? That's a long way back, ma'am. I mean... I bought Starbreaker from a junkyard, if that helps. Selected a good crew. Picked up a guy by the name of Mike Bujold from a little picket station and he got me a lot of contracts. He taught me to dance and play the guitar and I got a ring on my finger for my trouble." Rose cocked an eyebrow. "Or are you referring to the start of my StarFleet career, ma'am?"

"All of it, I want to know who you are before star fleet."

"Before StarFleet? I grew up on the ISS Prodigal Son. She was a modernized Y class running the Orion-Vulcan route. Good ship. Good crew. Sure, we had our fair share of pirates and dirtbags to deal with, but you know, that's par for the course. My mom was the customs officer. She was responsible for ensuring our cargo was properly labelled and that it would make it through customs, keep us legal... ish. I was one of a set of twins. Old boomer families like ours, we don't marry of our ship, we marry from another crew and we both move to a new ship. So my brother, Adam, he went off and got married and we never saw him again. I saved up, and I earned my way, got real good at what I do, and my parents and Cap'n Johnson said it was time for me to move on with my own ship. They helped me buy an old Heavy Metal Queen called Starbreaker. Little Warp seven bird hauling fifty kilotons. We bought it from a junkyard. Needed a new Warp core, so we rigged one out of a derelict we towed back for a salvage trade. Took a little tweaking. I got started on selecting my crew. We had a good run. Mostly Federation border post work. What more could a girl ask for, right? Good crew, great ship, decent route. Can't take the sky from me, right?"

She wrote a few notes down then said "Now What got you into StarFleet?"

"I..." Rose looked away, her brows furrowing as she shook off the sick feeling. "My ship was attacked. Pirates. My husband took a disruptor burst in the back for me. My brother murdered my husband in an attempt on my life. He was going down, I felt something burning in my leg, time... Time slowed down. That's the last thing I remember. When I woke up, I was on the Lexington. Starbreaker was gone. Mike. My crew. I had nothing left, and I was told I spent six months on a derelict blasted out of my mind on goddess knows what. But given six Marines with Anti-Material weapons and the fact that I was strapped down, I figure they thought they had bagged... Something out of an old spacer myth. So I stayed on. Got my head right enough to sign up. Went to the Mars campus of the Academy. Figured maybe I can pay back my failure by earning the right to a command. By the ship and the crew's recommendation."

Rose gave a soft shrug before looking back to the counselor. "Five years and four ships deep, only one demotion. Not too bad, I suppose."

"Now, What is it you fear?"

That got a confused look and a tilt of Rose's head. "A... lot of things, you're gonna have to narrow that down. Are you talking like gut wrenching instinctive nope out or are you talking abi dread and nightmares and sleepless nights of something you know you can't do anything about? Are we talking spiders or are we talking falling back into whatever the Hell happened on the Starbreaker and the San Clemente?"

"Any Of it" Kate knew she hit a confused wire, and it was her intention to.

There's a new one. Alright, Counselor. Let's play, Rose thought, straightening slightly. "I got the same array of fears as any other girl my age. You know, monsters from the old myths, clowns, spiders, hyposprays, that loving familiarity every time I touch a knife or spear or shotgun, flashes of memory of something I can't see or put context together for, the way a telepath looks at me when they see something unnatural but definitely still part of me, my husband's killer... Normal stuff."

"Normal Stuff? You call the Images that show when you even touch a weapon a normal thing? Why is that?"

"Not images," Rose clarified. "But I'm used to it. I don't handle weapons much in my job. And the flashes and memories only really happen when I'm trying to sleep or in the shower. The crew of a Vulcan Science Vessel I was stationed on taught me a lot about meditation and trauma management. It really helped."

Giving a soft shrug, she continued, "Honestly, I'm Astrometrics. My team and I keep the ship moving, man the helm, make and read the maps, set the course and go. I keep the nav console operating and I memorize the reference equations to keep StarFleet maps from being useful to any potentially hostile folks. If I have to pick up a weapon, things are already bad enough most of us would rather be on dormitory duty at a Vulcan Science Academy frat house during Pon-Farr."

"Well, Then You seem to know whats going on in your head..Mostly, Now Why do you Fear Betazoids?"

"I don't. I just... Don't like being around them. Or any telepath. The thing I was before I got bagged and tagged, for six months? That thing is still part of me. I can't feel it. Don't even really know it's there. Aside the whole what I'm told thing and what I see when a telepath looks at me too hard. They can see it. See what it can, and did do. My dislike of working with telepaths is to protect them and keep them from having to deal with my issues." Rose gave a shrug, leaning back in the seat.

"I try to minimize contact when I can. But in the fleet, it's inevitable. About three percent, if I remember correctly, of any given crew is going to have some telepathic or empathic ability. That's Betazoids, that's vulcans who can mind meld, some Andorians, or any number of others. Hell, even some humans can develop telepathic abilities under certain conditions, like my mom. Even myself, if I have the genes for that. There's nothing I can do to cut telepathy completely out. Unless there's some collar I can wear or something to prevent them from getting a read, but that's more unnerving to some folks than just walking around with a demon in my shadow. Might make me look like some spook. I'm harmless. It's other people's perceptions of something that I have to carry because StarFleet can't just remove it, no matter how much I'd give to have that abomination cut out of me." She seemed relaxed, upfront and honest about the matter, from her casual body language and her gestures. Not too cold, a healthy spray of emotions around the subject.

Another shrug. "I don't want to be feared. I'm not evil. I'm not a weapon someone can use, and I'm not going to snap and let loose something that I can't remember. I'm a widowed, failed freighter captain who had a stimulant problem and now works as an astronavigator. Not possessed, not a monster in disguise, and not pretending to be nice. I was taught growing up that there is never no opportunity for kindness. I try to live by that."

"Well, Is there anything, You need to ask me?"

"The call of whether or not I still have a StarFleet career is yours and yours alone, ma'am. Based on what I've told you, I just need your honesty." Here, Rose leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees with a concerned look on her face. "I need a sword. Not a blanket. Solutions. Not comfort."

"Well, Lt. Your going to get that Sword, Your Clear for Duty, But if you feel anything come on, Lock yourSelf down and contact me, Understood?"

Rose nodded, a hardening of her features flaring for the barest of moments before she stood. "I shall use it well. I'm doing a show in the forward lounge tonight. Feel free to show up. But if we're done, here, I'll be out of your hair."

"I will come, Plus Katie needs to meet some crew, so that case in of a Emergency she knows who to go to if she can't find us, Well it was nice meeting, You I will see you later" Kate stood up and walked out of her office, leaving Rose to take her self out, She had some Things to check in on.

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